Another ordinary day...of Pokemon.
by GengarKetchum
Summary: Ash and co are lost in the woods. Ha. Team Rocket are in a concentration camp. Ha. What else is new?¿?¿


This story is about Ash and co on yet another so called adventure. Yes, they are lost as usual.  
  
1 Chapter One "Lost"  
  
Ash: Where are we!?!  
  
Misty: We're not the ones deciding on that Ash, YOU ARE!  
  
Brock: We obviously took a wrong turn. Either that or this map is out of date.  
  
Ash: (PEERS DOWN AT MAP) Copyright 1986! _`  
  
Brock: (FACE-FAULTS)  
  
Misty: (SIGHS) Well, at least we still have our…our…our health!  
  
Ash: Health my foot, that's loser talk!  
  
Misty: !!!  
  
Brock: Maybe Golbat can help us. (LETS OUT GOLBAT) Fly, my pretty, FLY!!!  
  
Ash: ¬_¬`  
  
Misty: ^_^`  
  
Brock: Okay, Golbat, fly up high above the trees and find north!  
  
Golbat: G-wat! G-wat! (FLIES AWAY)  
  
Brock: I think Golbat can do it!  
  
Ash: I think Golbat can kiss my-!  
  
Misty: (ELBOWS ASH) Ash, remember, their may be little kids reading!  
  
Ash: Oh, right, and by the way, there is no Santa Claus, he is just a-!  
  
Misty: (BATS ASH IN THE HEAD WITH A MALLET)  
  
Ash: _!!!  
  
Moments later  
  
Brock: Where's Golbat? All he had to do was find north…  
  
Ash: He probably decided to go have a chat with the Easter Bunny…  
  
Misty: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pikachu: *My ears! *  
  
Togepi: *I haven't got ears. *  
  
  
  
Chapter Two "I can't concentrate in dis camp"  
  
FLASH TO GOLBAT  
  
Golbat: *North? How da f*** am I supposed to find North, this is bulls***!!! * (WANDERS AIMLESSLY INTO CONCENTRATION CAMP)  
  
Jessie: Ok, who on God's green Earth had the idea that we should be put INTO THIS CONCENTRATION CAMP?!?!?!  
  
James: The writers of this story have no sense of location.  
  
Meowth: Might I interject?  
  
Jessie and James: NO!!!  
  
Meowth: Being inside this concentration camp may give us a one-way-ticket to pity, and-!  
  
Jessie: Meowth, pr'aps you didn't quite hear us. (PULLS OUT MEGA-PHONE) *ahem* NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meowth: Listen, I'm just sayin' dat we have pity, dose pesky rabbits won't beat us.  
  
James: Ooh, I love rabbits!  
  
Meowth: (SLASHES JAMES' FACE) I was talking bout the twoip trio, you imbecilic bread-head!  
  
Golbat: *Oh, for the love of God, it's Larry, Curly and Moe!*  
  
Meowth: (LOOKS UP AT GOLBAT) I resent that remark!!!  
  
James: (LOOKS UP) What did that Golbat say?  
  
Meowth: Somethin' about scalding us with a Cuppa Joe!  
  
Jessie: Why…that…batty…blood-sucking…  
  
Meowth: And I think it's the Older Twoip's Golbat!  
  
James: Oh really? It's too bad, though, the soldier dudes have our Pokémon.  
  
FLASH TO WOBBUFFET, ARBOK, WEEZING AND VICTREEBEL IN A LUXURIOUS LEISURE ROOM  
  
Weezing: *Ahh, this is the life!*  
  
Arbok: *Yup, nuffin' but lazin' back, watchin' the game, havin' a Bud.*  
  
Wobbuffet: *There's a star in the middle of the solar system.*  
  
Victreebel: (BEING MASSAGED BY SOME DUDE) *DID I ASK FOR A LEAF MASSAGE? NO I DID NOT! YOU ARE A BAD MAN! YOU ARE A VERY BAD MAN!*  
  
Some Dude: Calm down little fella, have some of this. (INJECTS TRANQUILIZER INTO VICTREEBEL'S BODY)  
  
Victreebel: *LITTLE FELLA? WHY I ORTA… break some…some…break…ooh, look at all the pretty colors……marrow…meringue…boomerang…err…*  
  
Wobbuffet: *My big toe is big!*  
  
Chapter Three "Redefining Go-Fish"  
  
FLASH BACK TO ASH & CO  
  
Misty: You got any 3s?  
  
Ash: Go fish.  
  
Misty: (DRAWS CARD)  
  
Ash: Got any 3s?  
  
Misty: _!!!  
  
Ash: ^_^  
  
Brock: Where's my poor little Golbat, I bet he's cold and tired and scared and…  
  
Misty: Brock, don't worry; you've got Golbat insurance right?  
  
Brock: …  
  
Ash: (PRODS MISTY)  
  
Misty: GO FISH!!!  
  
Ash: Yes, that was the answer I was looking for…oh wait, no 'twasn't. MISTY, YOU HAVE 3S!!!  
  
Misty: When I asked you if you had any 3s, you said "Gyo feesh!"  
  
Ash: I don't talk like that…do I?  
  
Pikachu: *Only when you're lying*  
  
Togepi: *Screw this fan-fic, I'm never gonna get to say anything cool anyway.* (USES METRONOME AND TELEPORTS TO A U.N MEETING)  
  
2 Chapter Four "Welcome to the U.N, Togepi"  
  
FLASH TO U.N MEETING  
  
Togepi: *Mwahahahaha! Greetings, friends! I am your new ruler; I shall call myself…Bin Laden!!!! Mwahahaha!!!  
  
Representative of America: Get that child's plaything off my desk!  
  
Togepi: *I'll give you a child's plaything!* (GRABS MAN'S TIE, SHOVES IT IN HIS MOUTH AND JABS HIM IN THE EYE WITH A PENCIL [THE SOFT SIDE ^_^])  
  
R.o.A: My eyes! Hasbro, you are so going down!  
  
Togepi: *Hasbro???*  
  
Representative of Japan: Sat is not a toy you fool! Sat is a Pokémon!  
  
Representative of Canada: What are you talking abooot? 'Tis a toy! A child's toy!  
  
Representative of Australia: Yeah, mate, it's a Pokémon. But Struth, what tha bloody hell did it do to that bloke over dere?  
  
Togepi: *SILENCE!!! I DEMAND SILENCE! I DEMAND RESPECT! I DEMAND FREE MEALS AT ALL McDONALD'S LOCATIONS IN JOHTO! I DEMAND A PILLOW! I DEMAND A PEPSI MAX! I DEMAND MY FACE BE PUT ON A CORN FLAKES PACKET! MEET MY DEMANDS!*  
  
Representative of Australia: Someone shut that thing up! It's giving me tunnel vision! Plaything my ass, mate!  
  
Togepi: *Grr, I must get a translator…but from where? Hmm… Eureka!*  
  
Chapter 5 "The dramatic exit of Golbat"  
  
3 FLASH TO GOLBAT & TEAM ROCKET  
  
Jessie: This food is poor!  
  
James: It tastes like gore!  
  
Meowth: Stop talking in rhyme you boars!  
  
Golbat: *I'm getting outta here, good riddance, Team Sockhead, allow me to put your faces in disarray!*  
  
Meowth: I resent THAT! Wait, no…*ahem* I RESENT that! No, no. I RESENT THAT! Haha that's the expression!  
  
James: What did it say?  
  
Meowth: He gave us a kind farewell, and then he said the metric system is gay!  
  
Jessie: Why, I oughta put that Golbat's face in disarray!  
  
Golbat: ¬_¬`  
  
James: What face?  
  
Golbat: _ *Screw you guys, I'm going home!* (FLIES AWAY)  
  
Meowth: What? A flight to postpone? How very odd?  
  
Jessie: James, do you get the feeling Meowth is a complete dingcat?  
  
James: Slightly, but I've got the feeling our next destination is the exercise yard!  
  
Jessie: (JUMPS INTO THE CORNER OF THE FIELD AND STARTS QUIVERING)  
  
Meowth: (JOINS HER)  
  
Chapter Six "F***ing North!"  
  
FLASH TO ASH MISTY AND BROCK IN THE FOREST  
  
Ash: I believe…it was Colonel Mustard, with a revolver…in the…billiard room.  
  
Misty: Hah! You lose!  
  
Ash: #$%@!!!  
  
Brock: Hey look! It's Golbat! HEY GOLBAT!!!  
  
Golbat: *Damn it, if he wants north he should use that ****ing compass around his neck!*  
  
Brock: Golbat!!!  
  
Golbat: *I'm coming…you stupid moron!* (FLIES DOWN TO BROCK AND YANKS THE COMPASS OFF FROM AROUND HIS NECK)  
  
Brock: Well what d'ya know!  
  
Ash: IT WAS COLONEL MUSTARD!  
  
Misty: IT WAS PLUM!  
  
Ash: MUSTARD!!!  
  
Misty: PLUM!!!  
  
Pikachu: *I think it was Plum…say, where the **** is Togepi?*  
  
Chapter Seven "The dramatic exit of Meowth"  
  
4 FLASH TO JESSIE, JAMES & MEOWTH  
  
Military Dude: That's it. Keep 'em coming. Yup. Place her down right there. Yup. See, hard labor isn't that bad!  
  
Jessie: My back!  
  
James: My crack!  
  
Meowth: Stop talking in rhyme, or you'll feel my Fury Attack!  
  
Military Dude: Get back to work!  
  
Meowth: I refuse!  
  
Military Dude: (COMES UP REAL CLOSE TO MEOWTH'S FACE) How would you like to 500 push-ups, Turd?  
  
Meowth: 500? Push-ups! Turd!  
  
TOGEPI MAGICALLY APPEARS DUE TO METRONOME  
  
Togepi: *Kitty Cat, you're coming with ME!*  
  
Military Dude: GET BACK TO WORK!  
  
Togepi: *Work? I'll give you work, Turd!* (GRABS MILITARY DUDES'S POCKET KNIFE MAGICALLY AND STABS HIM IN THE FOOT WITH IT)  
  
Military Dude: Ow, crap! My foot! I- ow! Crap, my heart! Damn it- ow, my head!!!  
  
Meowth: Why do I have to come with you?  
  
Togepi: *So you can get out of this camp…AND TO RULE THE WORLD WITH ME!*  
  
Meowth: Wow, anything I should know?  
  
Togepi: *Yes, you will translate my every word.*  
  
Meowth: … and?  
  
Togepi: … and what?  
  
Meowth: Hey, I will not be a tool of world domination!  
  
MOMENTS LATER  
  
Representative of America: What did it say?  
  
Meowth: *sigh* He *or she*-!  
  
Togepi: (POUNDS MEOWTH)  
  
Meowth: Ow! Damn it! Umm… It says it wants you blood.  
  
Togepi: *That's next weeks plan, you dope!*  
  
Meowth: Grr… IT SAYS IT WANTS TO BE A MEMBER OF THE U.N, THE FIRST REPRESENTATIVE OF JOHTO!!!  
  
Representative of Japan: A Pokémon? A world leader?  
  
Meowth: *sigh* No…the world leader.  
  
Representative of America: We can't do that! The earth would lose all its character!  
  
Representative of Japan: …meaning what exactly?  
  
Representative of America: Well…you know…it…YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!  
  
Representative of Libya: I'm going out for coffee! (WALKS OUT BRISKLY)  
  
Togepi: !!! *What has happened to you people? You never used to bicker around like this!*  
  
Everyone: ???  
  
Meowth: *sigh* what has happened to you people? You never used to bicker around like this!  
  
Everyone: (LOOKS AROUND AT EACH OTHER) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HAHAAAAAA!  
  
Togepi: *Ug! Screw this! Meowth, draw me a bath!* (EXITS WITH METRONOME)  
  
Meowth: ****! You left me behind! Togepi! You wretched little ****! If you come back I'll draw you a bath! I will! Please! No-ho-ho! You can't here me can you! (STARTS CRYING)  
  
Representative of Canada: I'm going out to pick some daisies, anyone care to join me?  
  
Representative of Japan: Sure!  
  
Representative of America: Hell yeah!  
  
Meowth: *sigh* Get me out of this mental asylum!  
  
Chapter Eight "Get me out of this ****ing forest!"  
  
FLASH TO ASH & CO  
  
Brock: Okay. The compass says North is that way…but we've been walking for ages now, maybe this compass is out of date, too!  
  
Ash: (VERY FRUSTRATED) Don't you say that Brock…don't you ever say that! For the love of God!!! If we…no, if I have to spend another day in this putrid pothole of pestilence, death and…something else, I will leave, and I will take the f***ing compass with me!!!  
  
Brock: Oh well, considering the odds of us surviving, I mean…  
  
Ash: _  
  
Misty: _  
  
Brock: …um, maybe putrid is a little harsh to describe this…-!  
  
Ash: Damn it, Brock! I'm putting myself in charge, okay!?  
  
Brock: Hey, I have the feeling you guys aren't showing any respect for me!  
  
Ash: (SARCASTICALLY) Ohh, what makes ya say that???  
  
Brock: I can sense it.  
  
Misty: -_-`  
  
Ash: Brock, listen, you have brought us NOWHERE! Your stupid map didn't help us, your stupid Golbat idea of yours didn't work and the compass is getting us nowhere! Now, allow me to take charge and use my perfect sense of direction to get us through.  
  
Misty: -_-`  
  
Brock: Ash, whenever we follow you we get lost.  
  
Ash: Oh, so I suppose we should follow Misty then, huh?!  
  
Brock: (LOOKS AT MISTY) Well, actually…  
  
Misty: For the love of God, don't bring me into this!  
  
Ash: Fine, you know what? Let's put Pikachu in charge!  
  
Pikachu: *Don't any of you have the slightest idea that Togepi is gone?*  
  
TOGEPI APPEARS NEXT TO PIKACHU  
  
Pikachu: *Where have you been?*  
  
Togepi: *Uncle Pikachu, do you ever get the feeling no one ever wants to listen to you?*  
  
Pikachu: *Hm? What was that? I wasn't listening.*  
  
Togepi: *I said…oh, never mind…*  
  
Pikachu: *What was that? I wasn't listening.*  
  
Togepi: (IGNORES PIKACHU AND WANDERS OVER TO MISTY)  
  
Pikachu: *Heck, that Togepi never wants to listen!*  
  
"Epilogue"  
  
FLASH TO JESSIE & JAMES  
  
Jessie: We're out of luck!  
  
James: In this camp we are stuck!  
  
Jessie: We're out for a duck!  
  
James: Holy ****!!!  
  
SOMEWHERE IN ANTARCTICA  
  
Meowth: …****ing weak!  
  
FLASH TO ASH & CO  
  
Ash: Well, Brock, I'm sorry I doubted your inability to get us out of the frying pan.  
  
Misty: Yeah, it's too bad you brought us into the fire, though.  
  
Brock: Please, kill me.  
  
ZOOM OUT TO SEE ASH, MISTY AND BROCK DANGLING BY A TREE BRANCH OVER THE EDGE OF A CLIFF  
  
Ash: (FARTS)  
  
Misty: Oh yeah Ash, you're really helping.  
  
Ash: I've been holding that one in all day!  
  
FLASH TO PIKACHU & TOGEPI AT BOTTOM OF CLIFF  
  
Pikachu: *Man, aren't you glad Pokémon can't die, Togepi?*  
  
Togepi: (SIGHS) *They can't get catch falling humans, either.*  
  
Pikachu: *Err…*  
  
Togepi: (GULPS) *They can't call an ambulance either, can they?*  
  
Pikachu: *… wanna go find some trouble?*  
  
Togepi: *Yeah, okay!*  
  
END… or is it???  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon, Cluedo, Go-Fish, Pepsi, Cornflakes or McDonalds and if I did, I would be swimming in a pool of chocolate and little pieces of nougat. 


End file.
